I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
