That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
