I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize