i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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