they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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