in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
