so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
