the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
