Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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