Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
