covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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