I'm lost and stupid without you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
