yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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