this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
