I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
