Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
