Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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