I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
