you're like a bully in the Christmas story
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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