i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
