# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
