Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
