you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
