I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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