I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize