Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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