If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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