I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
