Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
