and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
