I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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