i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think i got beer on your cat.
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