I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
