Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
