I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
handjob tips. give me some.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
