We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
