Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
