I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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