; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
