i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
