You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
