To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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