tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
