In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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