I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
