By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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