So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
