Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
