we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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