my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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