I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
