drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
