What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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