he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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