i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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