found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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