Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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