she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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