Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
