I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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