When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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