i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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